Of cellphones and second born children.

I remember reading about some minister suggesting banning cell phones for kids.  Aren’t the parents who take all other important decisions for the kids capable of deciding whether they should use or not use cellphones? Most of our politicians also speak against sex education and ignore child marriages and sex selection.

When my kids were younger they always had cell phones with them when they went for school trips or summer camps etc. They were to have their own phones, after class ten exams. Rules were discussed and agreed upon. The biggest being that the purpose of the phones was to stay connected, if they can’t pick the phone when called, they must call back as soon possible.

They were also advised to stick to using the phone only for making calls, no Airtel Live etc… basically they were expected to be responsible.

We agreed that if these rules were broken, their new phones  would be replaced with a very old, black and white mobile we have at home.

Daughter got hers an year before her brother. She never overspent and always responded when I called (or called back).

I patted my own back.

The school allowed cell phones to be left at the reception, to be  picked up while going back home. It was good to know we could call them when they were on their way home.

The cellphone also became a creative toy. The camera ensured we were shown the mock-fights in the school bus, we saw a friend’s new shoes or tattoos, (which she also wanted) …and occasionally portraits of teachers sketched in the back pages of notebooks. Soon all this went on Facebook, and all the cousins across the globe (and their parents) enjoyed watching them grow.

Once she was on a school trip, she called at 3 am, frightened because another kid was not well. The teacher in charge did not want to disturb the parents. They planned to take the child to a local clinic in the morning. I think any health problem – no matter how small it appears, should be first and immediately reported to the parents. I called the child’s parents, who knew what the child was allergic to, and guided the teacher on the phone. We told our kids to call any parents in any such emergencies in future.

So I couldn’t see how anybody could find anything wrong with teenagers having their own cell phones. For me it was reassuring to know they could reach us wherever they were.

Then came the Son’s turn. Same rules. None followed. His cellphone stayed more in my wardrobe less in his pocket. Finally I let him have his phone and kept the sim card in my wallet.

Before somebody says ‘boys will be boys’….

They also say the first child is the easiest to raise, the ‘HW before playing’, and ‘Please-ThankYou-Sorry applied wherever required’ child.

They say, the second  child shakes all smugness out of the parents. My sister, a second child, did amaze me with her innovations at being difficult, she in turn called me ‘goody-goody-miss-prim-and-proper’  😉

Now she calls to rant sbout how she who found her first born so easy to raise is ‘about to have a heart attack’ with her second child, her soon to be 15 daughter. The Son is vegan, music loving, Saif Ali Khan look-alike, with a scholarly girl friend. The second child, the daughter, makes her see what she put our mom through 😉

Still this is like Astrology, to be taken lightly…. there can be no generalizations I guess. Each child is different. And it has to be only the parents who should decide if and when the kids should be allowed to use a cell phone.

But I am tempted to ask if other parents and first and second borns agree that the second child is born with special skills to shake any smugness out of their parents 😉  unlike the first born who lets you think you have done a great job… Do you think this is true?

Let me tag Charakan, Usha Pisharody, Shail, Saritha, Ritu, Mavin.

Also these first borns, Indyeah, Kislay and Chirag.  And anybody else who would like to pick this tag.

Please do let me know if you pick this tag 🙂


65 thoughts on “Of cellphones and second born children.

  1. “But I am tempted to ask if other parents and first and second borns agree that the second child is born with special skills to shake any smugness out of their parents unlike the first born who lets you think you have done a great job… Do you think this is true?”
    🙂 I agree…I am the second child and I got away with a lot of things…My sister still complains…I went out for late night parties etc. while she wasn’t even allowed to have a sleepover at a friend’s (female) place…

    Sraboney I have seen this everywhere!! …and this is exactly what happened with my sister and me. She traveled much more and could get away with ‘permission’ for things I did not even dare to ask!


  2. I certainly think so too! I am a first born – generally conforming to the rules and everything, my brother used to take more liberties and drove my parents crazy 🙂 And I have seen that happenning with a lot of my friends with 2 children too 🙂 One of my friends with 2 daughters – the first is a well behaved, polite little thing, the second is a terror, she actually terrorizes her elder sister – who is 4 yrs older than her 🙂 I certainly think that the second born is more confident and more of a trial to bring up 🙂

    And Smitha both my parents are first borns, and they are like me in there attitudes towards their parents! My sister once said, she felt I was put in a position where I was forced to be nice, (I disagree) – whereas she could afford to be wicked ;)(I agree)


  3. Ages-away-from-motherhood person butting in on the discussion here.

    Welcome DewdropDream 🙂

    The legend in my family goes that the second borns are always difficult to deal with. They’re reclusive, not usually known for tact but may surprise one sometimes, short-tempered, aggressive… etc etc etc.

    Well, when you put it like that …

    I have a counter question for you. Is it possible that second borns only seem difficult to raise? Because the first borns pave the way and make parenting seem so easy, they’re lavished attention on and generally made a huge fuss of whereas second borns get all that in a lesser degree… isn’t it possible that parents sometimes forget that every child is still an individual and therefore has his/her own unique personality, thus will need different parenting techniques compared to a first born? Or any other child in the house?

    I think you are right DewdropDream… the first born is often a novelty, parents are totally focussed on everything this one does, the second one is in fact easier to raise as a baby, but over the years learns to be more confident, really more street smart also. In my Son’s school all the teachers think he is an angel 😉


  4. First borns are not only easy to raise… they are genuninely and generally superior… !! 🙂

    no no … no points for guess which born I am… !!!

    This cell phone story you tell above.. lemme tell one silly story.. my wife is in manali with a trekking group… children from 6th and 7th standard are with her…

    one kid called his parents to tell them at 4 am that he was feeling cold !!!!

    where as all he needed to do was ask for a blanket…

    Sometimes children are shy of asking new people for anything. My son lost a camera on one such trek and never even told the organisers, who were very good friends of ours!
    The case I mentioned was serious, the recent death of a girl in Modern School, Vasant Vihar reminded me of that incident.

    So I dont know… I as such hate the cell phone.. its like the billi ke gale ki ghanti.. !! i hate it…

    where ever you want to go… you cant hide…

    You can! Switch off your mobile 🙂


      • and this is the first time you responded to my comment after 4 posts !!!! 😈

        i am sorry Hitchwriter…. my laptop is not working… this is my husband’s laptop I am using 😦 I am geting new batteries, a new battery charger and a cooling pad today evening – you will see me responding to all comments promptly then 🙂


  5. I completely agree! Second children are harder to raise ( I am the second child) 😀 😀

    LOl Winnie the Poohi you gave your parents a hard time!! They will have more memories of your growing years to smile at when they look back…


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  7. I think it was different with me. I was the first born and each and every rule I broke was a BIG deal… Then my brother came along and nothing shocked my mother. I think he gave her just as hard a time but she was better prepared….. and he seemed to have picked up on what he could get away with and how much….

    Would you call this an exception to the rule?

    I think for her at least I was harder to raise…… though I think I am OK with that 😉

    LOL 🙂 In this way even I can say I made things easier for my sister….


  8. Yeah, second borns *&^%$!!!! I am a first born 😛

    I think they learn from observing the elders and then they innovate for the sole purpose of pushing limits.

    lol yes they really do 😈


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  11. Well IHM, what’s the tag about?? Cell phones or first borns and second borns?? *slightly confused as to what the tag is about*
    And boy do children differ or what!!!! *rolls eyes*

    About do you think second borns are tougher to raise than first borns 🙂

    lol lol rotfl @your rolling eyes at their difference!!


  12. ah well! i an fuirst born and funnily my brother was the nice guy! i mean so was i! my mom says both of us were totally painless! ahem! 😀

    and where we lacked both of us did! there were times when i would be amazed to see him have the same habits around simnilar age! and he is good 6 years younger than me!

    and now i am seriously wunndering if i should go for 2nd! why spoil a good thing, eh?!

    lol there can never be any genralisations Abha 🙂 If you plan to go for a second one, go ahead, in fact the parents are more confident with the second ones.




  13. read up ur interview on Blogadda! its super cool!!! 😀 loved it!! loved the pic too!!!

    lol @ lanky limbs cutie who defies rules!!

    the way u cud assist the teacher to help that student, all thanks to the present-mindedness of ur daughter (also that she was scared, but she thot it wud be right to call u…) that was amazing!

    Yeah Crafty Shines that was serious and I am glad she called …medical problems can become serious very fast, and I just don’t understand how schools can take them lightly….the Delhi. Modern School case where this girl died of an Asthma attack shook me ….

    dunno know about second borns, am only child…it’s possible that in me they saw the warning of worse to come, if they proceeded to make more of my kind!!! 😉

    lol Crafty Shines 🙂


  14. Waah Waah…

    Applauds !!!

    Just read the interview of the superstar blogger !!! cool… you sound really cool in it… no no … i mean you are cool and in the interview you sound even cooler !!! lol… the various stages of cool… !!!

    Kudos to the Seniorest Superstar i meant… !!! he he he 😉

    🙂 LOL Hitchwriter 🙂 😈


  15. I am the first born, and my mums favorite.

    We have this in common … 🙂

    I have two….my daughter being the oldest, was the Miss Perfect, child we raised..Benjamin Spock was followed, her behavior analyzed…and she was the ideal child..Miss Well Behaved she was voted as a5 yr. old. Our second child a son….was raised without books…I was a confident mother, who had learnt that all children are different…as they grew older, my son learnt from my daughters mistakes, he never made the same ones…invented new ones. with his mums new found patience, he gets away with much more.Definitely easier to raise the second one..you know when to react and when not to

    LOL@ inventing new mistakes, that’s so like my sister 🙂


  16. The only thing I know is there were so many things which were a clear NO for me.. but when it came to my brother, everything and anything was cool!

    I think they decided to relax when he came into his teens… and he gets the benefit of all the strict upbringing imposed on me!

    I felt the same with both my siblings… they got away with a lot more than I did!!


  17. My experience is similar to Srabonee’s…am a first born and my mom never approved of hanging out too much with friends…but my sister had sleepovers at the age of 7 and all…I have never had one 😦 as a kid sometimes I used to wonder at times, like most elder children, if my mom loved her more and thats why she got away with things 🙂

    I not only thought so I also questioned my mom, and although she denied it – I was never sure!
    IHM could it be that mothers are tired of the routine and want to do things differently with the second born? 🙂

    LOL 🙂 I think they are more relaxed, less ‘going by the book’ and maybe that confidence affects the second child?


  18. First ones are bundle of tension and second ones bundle of joy.

    That doesn’t mean first one doesn’t give any joy, but parents are more often behind the elder and has an attitude of ‘kar lega or kar legi’ with the second one.

    With the first ones parents are naive and with the second ones parents are experienced and that creates the diff in attitudes of the first born and second born.

    Try treating them with same way, their responses will be similar. Well that was my take, which is not necessarily correct. 😉

    Indrani I think you are right, I changed after I got married because my husband is the youngest in his family, and his attitude rubbed off on me too…It was a change to be treated like the younger than the youngest 🙂


  19. My daughter in 3rd std pestering for mobile. We have promised that when she is in 4th we will provide.

    I think a mobile is a toy for them, a very interesting toy too! A toy that can take pictures and play music… who will not want one? 🙂


  20. hey IHM, i read ur laptop is giving trouble…so chances r u ain’t visiting blogs.
    me collecting b’days at my blog…cud u gimme ur b’day here in reply to this comment? 🙂 thanks!

    I am coming to your blog just now… and my laptop will hopefully be working by this evening 🙂 Yay!!


  21. I agree with cell phones and leaving them at the reception during school hours. That is very good. But I haven’t heard of this method here, in my children’s schools. It will be useful to contact them or vice versa.

    Yeah I also like this rule.

    I am the eldest and very submissive. I was always asked to adjust with my siblings. I have two sons. They are, as you said, first one is a soft natured, second one naughty. But I was careful not to ask my elder son to adjust with his younger brother. They completely differ in their nature!

    Sandhya I made the same effort, and the biggest advantage is they don’t fight too much. I went though the same thing, and made sure I don’t repeat it.


  22. I am the second child and I think I still shake the smugness out of poor parents! And I don’t regret it one bit.

    LOL D 🙂 One more second born agrees 🙂


  23. Hopped in here from BlogAdda, congrats 🙂

    Thanks 🙂

    As far as allowing mobiles are concerned I totally agree with you. Stopping or banning can never be the solution. It is up to the parents how they handle things…

    I strongly agree 😆
    As far as 2nd born children being difficult lol I don’t agree…for obvious reasons 😀

    LOL Smita@ obvious reasons 🙂


  24. I am a second born 😀 and the case in my home is a complete reverse. My mom always says raising me was easy as i was the silent-types. I used to play and sleep silently while my brother used to always make her run behind him.. when we grew up also, my brother would be the one who would ask parents for all the permissions and i would show his case and get my approvals 😀 😀

    That is the biggest advantage of being the second child Mystery!!

    The interview on blogadda was super cool..
    great going IHM..

    Thank You Mystery 🙂


  25. I am the second born and poles apart from my sister who was a quiet mature girl right from beginning. I kept everyone on their toes 😀

    lol Reema That reminds me of my sister, she is still the same, and thank God … I fear my childhood would have been very boring without her!! 😆


  26. I don’t think kids should be given cellphones at such a young age unless when it matters…

    Second child do give a hard time to their parents 😀

    I was my Mom’s nightmare right from when I was born to growing up… :))))


  27. When you said you were going to blog about the second born too, after the first born tag, I did wonder as to what angle would be taken 🙂

    Now that I know, and have been tagged :D, this is going to be interesting! I am a second born, and I am going to write about how my second born is so very much like me 😀 :D! A stirrer and shake-up-er! Certainly wiped the smug proud parent look off the parents’ faces :P!

    And, I shall send the link, to the second born to see how he takes it 🙂 He’s planning, anyway, to go to a hostel for some part of his final year :P! So any disagreement we might have as to sharing quarters, as a consequence of that post, will be solved thereof :D, and I shall have the only computer at home to myself, to blog more :P!

    Cripes! If he ever reads this comment, I am doomed!! Lol.

    Like Shail, I did have doubts as to what the tag was to be, cellphones, boys, second borns, or second time parents :P! Good that Shail clarified! And you answered!

    By the way congratulations on the interview too! Well articulated!


  28. Hey, I believe second borns are more difficult too. I am a second born so I know. There is an added confidence from knowing that you have an elder sibling to protect you from troubles you will manage to get into.


  29. Good post and thank you for tagging me.I am not very good at doing tags, so with few words I will do it right here ok?
    My elder one is the girl [12yrs]and is much older to the boy[ 6 yrs].She was the perfect daughter, but with boy growing up things are changing.They are a thick team and the youner one worships his sister. So in everything they are together and the daughter utilises the good offices of her brother to get her/their demands fulfilled. The boy is an angel in school and that pisses off her sister who bears the brunt when his mood is bad. I know things may change as they grow up so I reserve my final conclusion.
    As you said I think the differences is mostly due to the change in the way parents handle things and ofcourse the presence of the elder sibling.


  30. No…i dont agree…im a first born…and i was infinitely harder to raise than my younger [by 3yrs] sister. Now the tables have turned but…according to my parents, i’m the more special, talented, fiery, kinder, LAZIER one. And they say i was always too independent and arguementative, still am. But at heart, I’m more considerate of my parents than my younger sis. I’m far more naive than her. Any day…


  31. Thanks for the tag IHM 🙂 will be glad to pick it up
    though one on the second child (I know I am not one 😀 ) is already a part of my archives

    and then there is Solilo’s post as well


    We both are the first born 😀 and quite bratty me thinks 😀

    plus I am quite *ahem*mature as well

    IHM …first borns are absolute darlings and angels and well… just short of all things godly 😀


  32. I am third born, do I qualify to comment 😉 ?
    I would my eldest brother was always the apple of my mum’s eyes and the the second one well what do we say about him , he was always this naughty grapefruit!


  33. it just depends on surroundings.
    about cell phone may be those elderes are afraid of kids as we know cell phones have camera and they can shoot them so they fear

    sm yes I agree! And LOL@ shooting with cameras, I think that’s the best way to shoot 🙂


  34. I agree…even though I don’t have kids.

    I am a first born and when I was a teenager, I was stubborn in some issues but generally an easy child. Definitely a lot more responsible and mature for my age. My younger sister on the other hand, was a lot more difficult and there were a zillion fights between her and my parents and I had to be the mediator.

    Don’t know why that would be the case for all people but in my case, my parents were a lot more strict with me when I was younger compared to my sister. I resented that for a long time thinking she had it easy. I think being the first child, you tend to be the guinea pig for parents and then they decide not to be so harsh on the second one which then can also backfire… 😛

    Yes, I think this does happen, too often! Yes it can backfire! I also saw my sister getting away with more than I did but she always felt that was because I didn’t fight and I generally admired her for her guts – she was always the bolder one. 🙂


  35. hey..

    i am a second born… i have got more freedom than my elder sis(who is now married0 but yeah everyone in my family would agree that i am a rebel and a difficult person 🙂

    Welcome Nicky 🙂 My second born sister will totally agree with you on this! 😆


  36. IHM, I can’t agree with your views on ‘cellphones for kids’…….everything u said abt cell phone are true …….as every coin has two side,u could have mentioned de other side(demerits ) also.may be u raised u’r kids with gud values and taught them how to behave properly and sensibly.In this busy world can’t say same with others.There are lot of cases cellphones misused in school ….the incident happend from DPS(http://www.indiaforensic.com/compcrime.htm“) to recent Alleppey school girls suicide(http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Cities/Thirupuram/Girls-suicide-Cops-say-they-were-raped/articleshow/4090949.cms) are few among them……For every parents there children are(no matter there are 12th or college student) small kids.but can’t say itz de same, when they are with there friends.We can’t blame them coz that is there age(and now a days media is also responsible for tht). So until they are matured enough(probably after joining college) cellphones should not be given to them(as u said ,can give them when they go 4 study tour or something like that)……..but if it really matters to parents….then think abt a basic phone with no camera,GPRS etc(and make sure there studies are not affected also)………..when i read u’r article i felt like i should add these points also…..wht u think abt it

    I will check the links Anish….but I do generally agree, infact I have heard of options specially for children where they can call only the parents or two or three emergency numbers. That is a vey safe option too. I am less worried about cameras, and I do feel that this should be left for the parents to decide… I realise each kid is different!

    @ second born children ——-i’m a first born child…i guess i am good boy [:)] (don’t knw wht the parents has to say abt this comment 🙂 )….abt my sister she was very adjustable and she never used 2 complain abt anything ….guess she is the angel of my family compared 2 me(so i guess 2nd born gals are gud but boyz are mischievous and demanding…don’t knw :)

    Anish I fear girls are brought up differently, boys are allowed to get away with a lot, and sometimes it makes a girl wish she was born a boy, bad for her self worth, sometimes it lets the boy grow up with inflated self worth, both are bad for the society…


  37. Hello! (new blog I got! check it in the link!)

    Will check the link, thanks 🙂

    I am at least a decade away from being a mother but I will still add my 2 cents. I am the 2nd child. My elder sister has always been the most bechaari girl in the world – simple, naive, tactless, bovine, coward. Me the opposite – jumping walls, snapping people, street smart and been-there-done-that. And I dont think it was easier for my parents to bring up my sister because they lived in the constant fear that she will be bullied, get into bad company, screw up things for herself etc. Me on the other hand never needed more than a monthly supply of dettol, tincture and band-aid. I was the bruised, proud warrior always (thanks to which I cant wear short skirts now! 😛 )

    I think parents worry about both the angels and the devils, when actually there are no total devils and no total angels… there are just some individuals 🙂

    So much as menace may look like ‘difficult’ it is in fact the other way round. When your kid is screaming his lungs out saying he hates his maths prof, it is easier to deal with than deal with the kid who finds recluse in oil painting and wouldnt say a word!

    that was of course only personal experience! 😀

    LOL you two are an exaggerated version of my sister and me 🙂 I am sure your sister’s proud of you today … sometimes kids are different and parenting and labeling makes the differences stand out even more 🙂 In my house I grew up believing I was a errr the bovine Angel and my sister was the proud-warrior Devil 🙂 Today I can see a lot of proud warrior angel in her an plenty of err bovine devil or at least bovine human in me 😉


    • Hell! how can I miss this? Well I am sure you’ve seen me scream loud and clear on my blog already, but considering we are talking of sisters, I HAVE TO say that there is nothing better than an elder sister in the whole wide world! I can bring the world down for her!

      And after being bestest friends for 24 yrs I can safely say no on loves me as much as she does! 🙂

      Aww she is a lucky sister!! 🙂 And sisters do become bestest friends, no doubt!!! I must ask my (second born) sister if she can say the same things for me 🙂


  38. i am a second born and i know i took quite some liberties and heckled my sis no end.. but my sis is an angel, i have never found her grudging the partiality much, pretty much did her own thing, needling me every now and then. the four-year difference is not all felt b/w us.

    That sounds like a really sweet sisters relationship Gauri… 🙂

    cell phones do connect and all that stuff, but i personally dislike keeping in touch all the time. during our parents’ time, mutual understanding and communication was not overpowered by a minute-to-minute break-up.. there was a lot more space, so to say.. i would have liked it that way..

    I agree Gauri, I also don’t like the idea of minute to minute break up either, but I just love being able to stay in touch


  39. I don’t have any siblings, so I’m going to talk about cellphones.

    I got my first cellpone in 11th standard. A stupid little black and white one. My father, who does not get along very well with technology, was not convinced of my dire need of the camera and music phone. So I used this one (as a phone, paperweight, nutcracker, backscratcher, anger-ball, radio and once, on camp, a small pillow) for four years, until it broke down beyond repair. So then I got the one I’m using now. It’s a Nokia N91 8GB Music Edition which I insisted upon because it came with a 8GB hard drive ( yes, it’s heavy) which I needed for for my music, movies and….other….recreations. This one is also on the verge of giving up on life now (is it me? why do my cellphones commit suicide when I give them nothing but love?) but I’m not getting another one until, well until I get a job in a good law firm (“that’s all the fancy shit you’re getting from me, you ungrateful son of a b**** !” bawls Daddy), and that’s still a couple of years down the line. I need a phone *now*. Somebody need a babysitter? Or perhaps I can wax your car?

    So now my updated list of life’s priorities is:

    1.better cellphone
    2.desktop with a good graphic card
    3.zippo cigarette lighter
    4. a job
    5. love

    Yes. In that order.

    LOL 🙂 I am not surprised at all. The Couch Clown …😆

    P.S: Brilliant interview!!! Congratz!

    Thanks 🙂


  40. I’m the first born in my family, but I think I gave my parents more trouble than my younger sister. 🙂 That might be attributed to my independent and (somewhat) stubborn nature… whereas she was much more easygoing and flexible with her thoughts/behavior. Also, I’m pretty sure my parents were MUCH more strict with me than they were/are with her. That might have to do with me being their first child, so their obvious instinct is to be overprotective. Over time, after “experimenting” with me, they could alter their parenting style for my lil sis. 🙂 Though, honestly, they didn’t change it too much – they just eased up on her a little.

    You know most parents do seem to be stricter or more concerned with the first child… my sister found it easier than I did but she still was tough to raise 😉 But it’s also about attitudes, my daughter is like her in many ways, extremely open and totally confident, it worries me but seeing her now I understand my sister much better…now you got me rambling …!!

    About cellphones, I absolutely agree that it should be the parents’ choice whether their kids can carry cellphones or not. They have a right to have a way to connect with their kids, no matter where they might be.

    Absolutely Sindhu!!

    Enjoyed the post!


  41. Ya..I would like to pick this tag too…Ermmm…may be like 10 years down the line??Remind me..:)!!

    Lol chikki 🙂 Or write about your siblings… cousins and parents 🙂 😆


  42. Hi IHM!

    Though I use cell phone a lot, mostly for accessing the net, and not so much for making calls and smses, I’m not sure how much they must be harming my health. Long-term studies, to the extent I know, have shown some links with brain tumors, male sterility, etc.

    So, even though the idea of absolutely banning phones for children might seem too harsh, the parents must themselves curb mobile use to set a good example. Otherwise, children are unlikely to pay any heed to anything parents say.

    I agree 🙂

    Re: second children, I am the first child, and believe as of now giving my parents somewhat lesser trouble as compared to my sister. But my mom tells me, I was the more difficult kid to raise till I entered my sixth class.

    In my family the more sensitive towards the parents is often (not always) the first child 🙂



  43. oh I am smiling my way to glory 😛 Well I am responsible enough to use mine properly(in fact I get angry if I get any dirty forwards from friends)..now my sis is too young to do much with her phone(ya she has one though) but generally she gets away with things I couldn’t 😛

    Proves the first borns are more responsible 🙂 😆


  44. First born are always superior. They set the standards. 🙂

    Amit I also feel the first borns are more matured and responsible, these things are thrust on them, because they are always older then their siblings 🙂

    And I never got a cell phone till the time I was at home. When I went to the hostel to study, that is when my father gave me my first cell phone. The glittering Nokia 3315. 🙂

    Actually many times cell phone is more of a toy, and very very interesting but can-be-dangerous toys 🙂


  45. The first borns are achievers, while the rest either try to rebel or follow. I guess it is because the parents are seriously into parenting with the first one and this seriousness waivers.. I am the third so don’t know how that works out!

    We have let the kids use it even when they were young and when the situation demanded it. As for schools and colleges, the rule of leaving it at the receptions seems to be best option.


  46. Hmmm well I don’t have children and not even close to having any. And I was the only child of my parents.

    However, it has been proven, at least statistically (as cited by economist Debraj Ray), that most parents don’t know what’s best for their children! 🙂


  47. I am a first born too. and I am the ideal to be followed, hehehe. This is what I think, not my parents though. M is a first born too, and his parents believe that there is no one else like him. I think that way too. Does it have to do with his order of birth?


  48. Pingback: For My Little One :) « Overdrive… :)

  49. Hey IHM,

    Being a second born and also in the process of raising a second born (toddler), I totally agree with what you have stated.The first born ends up being more responsible than the younger siblings.
    Having said that, there are many privileges that a first born enjoys and the second born(irrespective of the gender) misses on. My list :

    1. Undivided attention and love of family especially if you live in an extended one with grand parents .
    2. Brand New Clothes,books ,cycles ,toys etc . etc. (they do get few new ones along with the hand me downs)
    3. The second born always feels that the first born is his/her parents favorite even though the other complains that younger one is spoilt silly. I suspect if both are true .

    Well, can’t think more beyond this now but I can assure you the list was much longer while I was growing up :).


    Me – I agree Gayatri, my sister a second born has a similar long list 🙂 So has my son… but if there are only two kids the second one sometimes gets pampered as the ‘youngest’ – life long 🙂


    • Post marriage, I’ve seen how I enjoyed all the privileges of being a younger one in the family…but after marriage, I realized that all the families aren’t the same, aka, in all the families, the younger one’s aren’t given that additional freedom/care/love like the elder one’s get.

      As stated by Gayatri above, the elder one’s do have a upper hand in everything at home.


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