Not just a pair of jeans…

This post was selected for Blogadda’s Tangy Picks.tangytuesday

A man in Haryana beat his wife in the market for wearing jeans while shopping with her parents.
Why was it such an issue?

He said she was wearing jeans.

Do you know what that means?

What was his fear?

Isn’t it clear?

Jeans symbolise more than just what she wore!

Tomorrow she could ask for more?

Ask to keep her girl-child?

Education and a right to work?

This didn’t please the jerk…
Did he see a pair of comfortable jeans become second skin?
Did he see how jeans would let her catch fast moving buses?
Or jump fences …
Or hop and skip with ease?
How jeans don’t slow you down…

How jeans don’t trip you,
No a pair of jeans doesn’t…
And he probably saw more.

He worried it made her see,
The double standards of his hypocrisy.

Do you think being able to wear what we like is really important?

If a man says you must give up wearing jeans,
I would say
Refuse to be his wife,
Run for your life …!

Watch out.

‘Cos I think.

Double standards stink.

What could I possibly mean!?
Isn’t it just a pair of blue jeans?
It isn’t.

Mangalore bans it.
Taliban cans it.
Grand parents berate it.

All hypocrites hate it.

Our conditioning is so good.

Men can wear jeans, if they would.

Fat men, thin men

Bachelors and married men
Men who are old

And not so old men.
But women?

We must look good in jeans.
And still be considered too bold. Men!
Sari and shalwar are permitted to most
but for jeans you must a perfect figure boast?

Think about it, there’s no doubt,
Jeans seem to have a lot of clout!

We have been reconciled,

Those jeans might make us wild.

Do jeans make a statement?

Do they symbolise our freedom?

More than just the convenience of wash and wear jeans?

Does a pair of denim jeans

And a disproving frown

Remind you that it is okay …

To be women ?

To look like women?

Thin women, fat women,

Don’t care if they are stared at women?

To walk tall,

And run,

To matak if we please women.

To care not two hoots…

To not live for approval?

Make eye contact and

Keep an eye woman!

And watch who supports!

Watch the language of the guy who courts!

Does he offer respect in exchange of freedom?

Run.

Lol anyway, it’s easier to run in jeans : )

EDITED TO ADD : On Jun10th 2009. Meeta Jamal, principal of the Dayanand girls’ college in Kanpur city told AFP. “This is the only way to stop crime against women.”

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83 thoughts on “Not just a pair of jeans…

  1. I don’t understand what so wrong in a pair of jeans? It’s one of the most comfortable pair of dresses a woman can wear to hide her nudity. This is the limit!

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    • Agreed and it’s safer than most forms of clothing- sarees, salwars, etc can be undone easily- but not so with jeans. Infact these fundamentalists should be promoting jeans and sying women- wear these, you’ll be safer from attacks.

      Like

  2. The main reason chauvinistic men don’t like women wearing jeans is because it would make it easier for women to kick them where it hurts most more easily…

    Like

  3. Ahaaaa! I loved this post, for all the reasons I love jeans, for all the reasons that you have put up this post, for all the reasons, that you too have given, most of all for the comfort it gives me 🙂 And as Biju Mathews says, it is a far better garment than some of the saree and blouse or even salwars! and yes, you can Run Wild!! [Is that what they fear??? :D!]

    Would you believe, after an age I wore a pair of jeans, yesterday when I went to my bank, and found so many eyes popping out, quite discreetly, no doubt, but they did! And I had a blast 🙂 That is why that rhyme came up on Dhiren’s post too.. LOL! [Out here, like in a lot of places it’s not done, esp if you are 40+..LOLzzz!]

    Thank you1 And as always, you rhyme awesomely!

    By the way, this did happen?? In Haryana? My GoD! Terrible.

    so let us hear it for Jeans, and jeans, and jeans.. 🙂

    Like

  4. Really I fail to understand what is there in jeans that makes guys on streets ogle more than they usually do. And I dont even wear halter tops or stuff like that..a simple kurta and jeans is what I wear and I think it is more decent than a sari which in my opinion exposes more. Its just been hyped to be “Indian and decent” by men only.

    There are many families I know where the bahus are “not allowed”to wear salwar suits even after marriage!!

    Like

  5. This really is after my own heart.I am completely a jeans freak.While my parents never stopped me from wearing it,no matter where I wanted to,my relatives did frown upon it at times and Oh Lord!my college people being in small city did make an issue out of it.Did that deter me from donning a pair?No sir.

    Because giving up on jeans meant giving up for what I believed and I knew I wasn’t ready to do that.However I still hope I am married into such a family where wearing jeans on daily basis(not just on holidays) for the daughter-in-law is allowed because I can’t imagine myself draped in six yards and looking after the pallu while running from the wards to the emergency rooms.
    Amen.

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  6. Yeah, tell me why the discrimination?? Men can wear jeans, but women must stick to sari and salwars??!!
    The whole world admires sari. But for me it is the symbol of the dress code imposed on women. I have grown up hearing its virtues drummed into me vis-a-vis trousers/jeans or anything ‘western’! It is not that I hate it per se. But since it has been pushed down my throat as the good Indian girl’s must-wear dress, I have rejected it mentally. And for that reason I prefer not to wear it. My little ‘rebellion in my tea cup’!! 😉
    Loved your post as it spoke my mind as usual.

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  7. woho! i never thought a pair of jeans can insight so much of thought.. and wearing jeans is comfortable and somehow a part of us.. Men have no rights whatsoever to ban it for us!!!

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  8. Oh what would life be without a pair of jeans….I just so mush love them…for the freedom it gives.
    Good timing good rhyming and good perspective 🙂

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  9. Loved this IHM,especially the
    Mangalore bans it.
    Taliban cans it.
    Grand parents berate it.

    But i diagee with you on

    If a man says you must give up wearing jeans,
    I would say
    Refuse to be his wife,
    Run for your life …!

    Its not that easy honey..Where dow e run to?To our parents who married off us and will frown at me coming abck just in the name of a cloth? Trust me.99% of peopel will say ‘adjust with him ‘..Any doubt?

    As you said,wearing jeans is not about dressing ,but about making a statement,one which men fear of..They start weaving stories ‘Today jeans.tomorrow she will start questioning me,so stop when it is at jeans ‘ :-/

    Like

  10. Its been a while since I left a comment on your blog. I must confess though, like Ritu’s web, IHM’s place is totally irresistible. So, I used to go on reading post after post that you wrote on my cell-phone. Since my typing skills were totally limited on the cell, I had to wait till I could login here and leave a comment. All your posts-on the Mangalore incident, on the dress-code needlessness, on the insecurity of the Ravan Sena, on the necessity of putting together both the sexes for a healthier society-all register deep in my heart. They sometimes make me laugh (yes, one of them did, the one on Manusmritit), they enrage me, they make me laud you, they make me stand in awe of IHM and wonder what kind of a crusader this this. They make me feel proud of myself for knowing you.
    Keep it up. I promise to be regular now onwards, and leave comment on each and every single post the way I used to do.
    Love you.

    Like

  11. I think people are becoming more wary of the clothes and thoughts that women hold not post all this Mangalore incident!

    I can not imagine a girl does not have the right to dress the way she wants even when her parents are completely fine with that!

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  12. I swear.. This is ridiculous.. How can anyone fight over what one should wear or not.. And that too jeans.. Its simply pathetic.. I know now we have to fight for these little little but important things.. In some small cities girls are not even aloud to wear salwar.. Only sarees aloud.. Thats really pathetic too..

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  13. its really getting worse and worse.. as time proceeds, more and more ridiculous stories keep coming in the papers which frighten me.. how much longer will this crap go on, seriously?

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  14. Yikes!! what next? they gonna bring a rule that says women dont step out of their homes?? what a bunch of crap!!!! idiots all these men are!!!

    I have a grudge against all who preach SAREE is the only attire for women.. do they know its the most revealing and sexiest of the lot?? bah!!!crazy world we are living in….!!!

    Somebody needs to get these jobless A@#!#$ a job!!! 😀

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  15. Awesome rhymes….:)A.B.S.O.L.U.T.E.L.Y awesome!!:)
    Jeans are just a symbol of all that has been denied to us…all that we yearn for….
    women are bound in useless customs,useless rituals,useless clothes/dresses….
    Is it any wonder that sarees as beautiful as they are (and I absolutley love them)ARe now being left behind?
    That in her heart of hearts ,each woman ,doesn’t matter of which generation ,longs to wear it…fantasises about being able to wear it just once?

    What an amazing post IHM!)This is now my favourite one:)

    PS:-I broke a record…didnt get to post here lightning quick:(
    *stupid comp*
    I was the first one to read it too…within 6 minutes of posting:D
    Do I sound like a lttle bratty kid?:D
    I loveto be one of the first ones to leave a comment here:):)

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  16. Yes, Jeans are an issue- there are several families where daughters in law have been made to stop wearing their jeans- even as their sisters in law wear the jeans they no longer wear. And haven’t people had the “dress nicely” injunction- as if showing inches of skin on the belly is “decent” enough- though of course decent saris are rarely the glamorous navel revealing affairs they “traditionally” are meant to be.
    What I wonder at is the stupidity of telling an adult to dress in a particular way and the conformity with this the adult women told to do so accept it (and to my own disgust with myself, I have followed the “dress code”- but only once- with a lot of self loathing too). Makes me wonder what is next- think in a particular fashion, eat only somethings, us only a particular brand of soap, cosmetics?

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  17. @Biju Mathews I think Jeans have come to symbolise Equality and freedom 🙂

    @Bones Rotfl !! Yes 🙂

    @Usha Pisharody No, not claiming to rhyme well .. lol just a silly rhyme with a message, to lighten my foul mood, everything is wrong with whatever we hear in the News these days…
    so let us hear it for Jeans, and jeans, and jeans.. 🙂

    @Mamma mia! Me a mamma ‘So the list for the 14th is a bottle of booze, a ciggie, a sleeveless top AND a pair of jeans. Check.’ LOL love your check list! Please do add some red heart balloons 🙂

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  18. I remember my Nani telling me (the coolest Nani in the world may I add) that when she “let” my mum wear jeans a lot of fingers were pointed.. My nani wishes she could wear jeans..She tells me if I grew up with it..I would have…But alas!!! Im 20 dont know how to cook (Even make tea :P) or wash clothes but my brother who is 15 can… Not bcas I’m a girl and he is a boy…But bcas he wants to and likes too… I love that about my house!! 😀

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  19. @Reema And there’s nothing very fancy about faded old jeans, more a convenience than anything ….
    I know about bahus not being allowed to wear even salwar kurta – the attitude is if she is allowed something ‘new’, she is being given too much freedom.
    Absolute hypocrisy and a wish to control another human, an adult at that!

    @Moon’s Muse You will find a family that has no hassles with your wearing jeans will generally be liberal otherwise also … exceptions are there of course, but generally… And there are lots of such families these days 🙂

    @Shail I agree … sometimes I think the biggest reason I live in my jeans is not comfort (though that too) but a wish to refuse to conform … and I have seen people get used to anything 🙂

    @the pink orchid Jeans and noodle straps are being banned in Mangalore, India, (Karnataka) … unbelievable but true 😦
    And they have threatened to molest any girls seen in such ‘nude clothes’!
    … we vote for such samples.

    @Nids And now you have one more reason to love your jeans! A pair of blue jeans have come to symbolise a woman’s independence and her right to individual freedom.

    @Nimmy You are right, of course … but this was more for those who are not yet married, they still have a chance … I know they too have very little freedom, and are often not even allowed to meet the guy. But it’s a matter of how much they value their freedom …

    @Mampi I missed you 😦
    Really did. So you had a great holiday? Glad you are back :)))
    Thanks for laughing at Manusmriti, that’s exactly what it deserves 🙂
    And thanks -unlimited thanks for your wonderful encouraging words … Love, IHM 🙂

    @Phoenix Ritu Please, make sure you support the protest by wearing noodle straps and jeans, and do display some red hearts balloons on your front door 🙂

    @Aathira A girl can and must wear whatever she likes and deems sensible – she has the brains to decide! This sort of hooliganism must be nipped in the bud 🙂

    @Riya And just think girls are doing so well, even when they are so many restrictions! They have to fight the system and harassment and still we are quite definitely moving forwards … so if Karnataka government is doing nothing, we can protest all over the rest of India by supporting the victims and their families and friends and all the other girls in Mangalore.

    @Dr Roshan R Yes it is disheartening but not if we all show we are not going to take such nonsense. On 14th Feb, this valentine’s day we have symbolic protests all over India … do support it! Celebrate Valentine’s day to show we decide what we wear, drink or how we live, not some class five drop out with 45 criminal cases pending against him.

    @Aaarti Sari is fine, but why not let a girl decide what she’d like to wear. Also there are no rules for men to wear traditional Indian clothing? WHY?
    I do hope you are going to celebrate Valentine’s Day because ‘this Valentine Day is about FREEDOM, INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS, LIBERTY, GENDER EQUALITY … about upholding a Constitution we revere.’

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  20. @Indyeah :)) lol No you don’t sound like a bratty little kid, more like an adorable little kid 🙂
    Saris are beautiful, I love saris as formal and festive wear, even occasionally work wear, or party wear BUT not for casual day to day wear, unless the wearer herself chooses it.
    On one hand we talk about how girls should not be vain – on another we think they must wear sari because it is so beautiful …
    As usual we use clothes also as an excuse to hold back a girl, as a symbolic move, jeans make a great statement!

    @Alankrita ‘What I wonder at is the stupidity of telling an adult to dress in a particular way ‘ Absolutely. And not just tell, but enforce. And condemn, It’s a very serious business here, if god forbid, the poor girl is harassed – she is not likely to get any sympathy … because what else did she expect when she was dressed the way she was!
    What do they say for victims of child abuse? And thousands of victims who only wear saris – and live on the roads, in villages and slums? It’s astonishing how people believe that victims clothes cause sexual assaults but it is very deeply ingrained …

    @Vishesh Congratulations 🙂 Please convey my respects to them …I wish there were more grand parents like them 🙂

    @RV Your nani is indeed really cool 🙂 And she is also very brave! It’s obvious that Muthalik has never heard of this India!
    But you must write about your Nani’s attitude towards your Mom, let mothers in newer generations see that courage is not just what we see in battle fields, but in our day to day lives. Hats off to your nani!

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  21. I had a friend in school who`s mom wouldnt allow her to wear jeans to her granny`s place!! she thought they might object! The mom was scared they would point fingers at her upbringing!!! God!

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  22. Jeans too? I thought now that was something which covered entire legs and with a Indian Kurti over it. The most appropriate dressing according to the culture police. But then what do I know.

    Our culture police I tell you wants to see women in those purana flimsy white saree.

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  23. Ah a jeans poem, well written 🙂 I definitely wouldn’t have married a man who didn’t let me wear jeans. At one point I had nothing but jeans and t-shirts in my closet.

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  24. Jeans symbolise more than just what she wore!
    Tomorrow she could ask for more?
    Ask to keep her girl-child?
    Education and a right to work?

    You really think so? that the guy would have thought so much? Well, I quite don’t agree.Above wouldn’t have come to his mind as far as i Know.

    What he would have probably thought is about WHAT WILL OTHER ELDERLY PEOPLE THINK (MOSTLY ELDERS IN FAMILY, NEIGHBORHOOD), IF THEY COME TO KNOW THAT MY WIFE IS NOT A SARI-CLAD WOMAN, but someone who can wear Jeans ( still considered modern it most part of India, all non-urban places i.e ). This would probably give a bad name to me and my parents as well (part of his thought probably , not my comment 🙂 ).

    And trust me, the problem is not limited to a ‘Man’s bias against women’.It is more deep rooted. I have heard women talk about someone else’s Bahu wearing jeans and how they make a fuss about it. Have you never heard such a woman from any woman?I really think, elderly women tend to be more fussy about this rule.

    I remember my mom would always wear a SARI when her Mother in-law (my grand mother ) would come home.On a normal day, she never wears sari and feels comfortable in salwar-suit.
    Similarly, I know my cousin brother’s wife (My Bhabhi ) would never wear jeans in front of her mother-in-law (my aunt), but would wear otherwise.

    I guess its more to do with the fact that the older generation is just not ready to see their Daughters (not sons though ) wearing jeans.Its not anything to do with “Tomorrow she could ask for more?. Trust me, best of families who don’t mind their bahus going out and working, or have no problems with a gal-child whatsoever, will also object to her wearing jeans.

    I really feel, you have portrayed wrong reasons.The topic you have chosen is awesome, we should write about it.But you have messed up your analysis for sure.

    I guess that as the generations pass, more and more people will be ready to accept their bahus in jeans.I guess my mom will :-).And my Dad, he sure will, he’s so much more liberal than my mom :).

    BUT TRUST ME,, AGAIN, THIS IS A BIAS AGAINST WOMEN NOT DONE ONLY BY MEN, WOMEN ARE EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.

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  25. Oh yes! The whole jeans issue! 😀
    My favorite clothing… jeans and a kurtha – what could be more comfortable?!

    It just makes men insecure… and change has always been met with resistance…. so, we are fighting more nowadays and voicingn our opinion and displeasure…
    Things will get better.. for there hour before dawn is always the darkest…
    With people voicing their displeasure and discontent – I think that we are finally being heard…

    Like

  26. This is getting worse by the day. Everyone thinks that they can decide what women can/ should/ ought to do with her life and in her life.
    I think this happens only when they know that the woman cannot fight back or that she has no recourse. May be he knows her parents would not take her side – perhaps they are happy to have married “off” the girl and heaving a sigh of relief -‘one responsibility over”!
    And if she were to take her case to the police station some male chuavinistic police inspector would refuse to treat it as a serious case and tell her to go and do seva to her husband and be a “good’ woman. For him only murder, dacoity and political cases are important.
    So naturally the man thinks he can get away with all this.
    Shameful that this is happening in this day and age.

    Like

  27. only the insecure men find a pair of jeans so threatening for their very existence. But i guess women are more likely to judge a girl’s character based on what she wears and if she has male friends/goes to pubs/ enjoys life 😀

    love your blog 🙂

    Like

  28. I kinda agree with Chikki..More than from men,women face biased behaviour and harassment from women itself..There are mnay tiny tiny matters,which are of not much concern to men,but when it comes to MIL and others,they make it a big issue and thereby making the husband stand against the wife. Just for eg,if wife wear a salwar of her colour,which is of no problem to her husband,but when she comes downstairs,MIL syas ‘Geez,are you wearing this dress to the function? “..Now husband too has issue with the dress.I have seen this many times and the readymade reply comes from husband ‘Go,change your dress’…I am yet to see a husband whi says “No mamma,its ok,let her wear what she want”..

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  29. This is so sad. When is this going to end? Why are men so insecure?

    And moreover, why do these men don’t think twice before putting on a ‘tight’ pair of jeans?!? Why isn’t that ‘immoral’? Don’t wanna go into descriptive specifics but sure can you understand what I mean!

    Oh and don’t forget a good pair of sneakers to go with the jeans while running! Comfy for the feet or do they have prob with that too?!!!

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  30. Dude, Just a Jeans right.
    Do you think being able to wear what we like is really important? Absolutely.

    In Addition to the benefits you mentioned:
    Jeans looker gooder when they are older
    You always are comfortable in one
    Any occasion just a jeans and T will do.

    What makes it so scary escapes me. They should be happy as jeans was first worn by the labor class in the Gold Rush, before it became a fashion. Then a need. Well its a jeans, right???

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  31. Also Jeans save a lot of time 🙂 both in buying and before party 🙂

    Mom, take 4 Hours to buy a Saree and Niki an hour to wear one. So I am happy with the jeans.

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  32. Hmm another brilliant post frm u… i just want to post here a conversation that i heard recently..

    DAUGHTER : Mom i am going to meet aunty today
    MOTHER : Ok good, wt r u planning to wear?
    DAUGHTER : That blue jeans, and white top.
    MOTHER : JEANSSSSSSSSSS, wear salwar or saree
    DAUGHETR :MOMMMMMM, Grrr, i am not going to
    meet her then.
    MOTHER : Areeee beta, ok u wear jeans, bt
    wear a long kurta along with it.
    DAUGHTER :Mommmm, thats too much, i am not
    going to marry her son, i am just
    paying a visit.
    MOTHER : Acha teek, hein, bt plz tie ur hair.
    DAUGHTER : Mom, wt is this, cant i b myself.
    MOTHER : OK fine dear, actualy they are
    very conservative, they wont like
    all these things na.
    MOTHER : No, its ok, i guess.

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  33. Anything can happen in Haryana, UP & Bihar! Now it seems this venom is spreading right down! I am sick and tired of these stupid sickos…..whenever will we come of age as a progressive nation! I wonder! Will I keep wondering, I hope not!

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  34. @Piper I think mothers have to decide to bring up their children on their own without any tips and instructions from elders, neighbours and
    aunts 🙂

    @Solilo Even noodle straps are none of their business Solilo!

    @Priyanka Same here! In fact it was a worry I had .. :))

    Like

  35. @Pixie Well said!!! …change has always been met with resistance….
    With people voicing their displeasure and discontent – I think that we are finally being heard…

    Do you know the Ram Sena has taken back their threat? Or more like Karnataka Police has assured that they will protect the citizens!!

    Of course we must still go ahead with our V day celebrations. These notions need to be nipped in the bud!

    Like

  36. @Usha I agree. The day a girl’s parents start standing by her side, half the problem is solved. …even the Politicians will know this citizen counts.

    @Ajit LOL 🙂

    @Tarun Goel I loved this one, of course he is gay why else is he after all hetero sexual couples :))
    I have also left this link on Usha’s blog 🙂

    @Chayya THANKS 🙂
    And I think women do this because this system keeps them insecure…

    @Nimmy .. Husbands have been raised to obey and they might forget to use their own judgment. They can make a lot of difference in ending this cycle.

    @Masood LOL Not yet heard about the sneakers being banned 🙂
    High heels are more likely to be banned because they might fear being beaten with them 🙂

    @Chirag LOL :))Yes time saving, easy to maintain, and can be worn for semi formal parties with formal tops and all …
    LOL 🙂

    @Devil Incarnate This dialogue is so good, please make a post of it!
    I think half the time parents are just being unsure, when they need to trust their own judgment and their child’s. Loved this conversation!!

    Like

  37. @Monika 😦 true!

    @Ritu Please do 🙂 Honored that you should consider it worthy of it!

    @rakesh vanamali You have no idea how good it is to see your anger! …but you will be happy to know that today Karnataka government has announced that they will protect the citizens, and this I think is a result of all the Valentine day plans that the country is making :))

    Like

  38. My wife needs to read this post badly… Coz i wanted her back in jeans.. I wouldnt let her eat sweets, icecreams, chocolates…

    wake her up at 6 and drag her out of house to jog….

    finally she is back in jeans… tell her I am so good and not a hitler… !!!!

    really !!! lovely post….

    This is new, some one is opposing wearing jeans tooo now…!!!!

    Like

  39. Loved it! Specially the rhyming parts.
    Reminds of my promise me add to the Sanjay Dutt rhymes. I wrote it in my mind, saved it on word. But an absantee husband, sick daughter and 100 chores made me forget all abt it. Let me go and add to it now.

    And Hey u know the Shiv fasting on mondays just ensures and excellent life partner, doesnt mean you want a Partner liek Shiv. And I can vouch it works. My husband did the 16 somvaar fasts 🙂 He is crazy like that. But see it worked. I didnt and so am paying the price now 🙂

    Like

  40. hmmm I guess his dirty mind thinks that people would look at the exact shape of his wife… like the way he might be looking at other women wearing jeans. Beating wife for a simple reason that she wore jeans?? Such a beast he is to do that!

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  41. There’s no end to it. The Taliban attacked two women, lifted their veils and thew acid on their faces – know why? because they were going to school. thats where we’re heading.

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  42. That was a nice poem.
    I started to wear jeans only after my marriage.
    It was my husband who encouraged me to wear jeans.
    I really felt pity for that Haryana girl
    Still there are some men with pre-historic thoughts who deserve to live in stone age.

    Like

  43. Pingback: No Jeans For Indian Daughters in Law. « The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  44. Awesome poem and thought!

    My first jeans was a pair of one of my brothers 😀 who was twice my size. I cut the legs to my size and wore it with my grandad’s suspenders. Everyone had a good laugh after seeing me in it. I was 8 then and was never allowed to buy one for myself as I was given the same answer “good girls from a good house don’t wear jeans” :sad:. I bought my first pair when I was in college and yup there was a lot of verbal fights and the jeans was mysteriously kidnapped one fine morning 😯

    After marriage I almost went berserk buying jeans :mrgreen:

    It’s the most comfortable and decent thing ever invented 🙂 of course after athletic shoes :mrgreen: run ladies run….loved your run tip!!!

    Me – You finally read it 🙂 I remember commenting that you should read this if you’d like light hearted stuff 🙂

    Jeans are basically symbolic and most objections are also symbolic … you must have been a brat and a pampered brat… who told you all your cute childhood stories? Your mom? 🙂

    Like

    • Na the 26 wolves believed in spreading my Veerkatha by mouth to anyone who cared to listen to their torturous childhood :mrgreen: My granddad fondly used to tell me abt all the naughtiness I had indulged in 😉 ahem abt the brat thing….cough cough…. I think my husband will agree when I say that I am still a pampered brat :mrgreen:

      Like

  45. Pingback: Cross-Posting IHM’s blog ‘Not just a pair of Jeans ‘ « Spinning a Yarn Of Life

  46. My wife started wearing jeans (and other stuff that freaked her own mom) only after she got married.

    No one sent me the Stop-her-from-asking-for-more memo. Well, guess after she gets back from office I will have to ground her for a week.

    Btw, I discovered this blog pretty recently but am simply blown away by the genuine frankness oozing from your writing. I love it!

    Me- Thank You 🙂 Delighted to meet you 🙂 I did a whole lot of new things after I got married – and freaked out my mom too 🙂 One of them was not stopping my husband from entering the kitchen – though at the time I squirmed too when he did that 🙂

    Like

  47. I’ve been lucky that neither my parents nor my husband has ever stopped me from wearing jeans (or rather anything I wanted). In fact, he’s given me confidence to wear stuff that I feel doesn’t look good on me! I’ve experimented more with my clothes and style after I got married. 🙂

    Husbands who stop their wives for such a small thing as wearing jeans are most insecure! They somewhere know that she’s more able and intelligent than them on some level and only to keep up their false pride they try to curb her by doing such ridiculous things.

    Like

  48. This is a wonderfully expressive poem……..yes, jeans are not just jeans .
    It is symbolic and all the objections are symbolic too…….if it is jeans today what next…this is the real worry of some of the principals n husbands n in laws and…..

    Me – Sangeeta, I think jeans and most western clothing has become a symbol of how much a girl is allowed to have a say in how she takes personal decisions in her own personal life …

    Have been reading n liking your posts but could not come n comment for some reasons …no excuses..:)
    loved your bird pictures and all those stories …i love watching birds n clicking them too , i am adjacent to the central ridge area and birds are abundant……

    Me – Amazing how many birds we see around here!! I had no idea these birds even lived in cities 🙂 It would be great if you shared the pictures you took too!! 🙂

    Like

  49. Pingback: Can’t end marriage over sari ;) « The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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  53. Ok, this is a very late reply, but just wanted add my comment too! I’m a model, i’ve strutted down the ramp in bikinis too. But for day to day wear, I like dresses and (surprise surprise) salwar kameezes. They’re just so comfortable! I’m not a huge jeans fan, I feel they’re too tight and restrict my movement, but that’s my choice. And its a choice I enjoy. Whether I wear a mini skirt or a saree is entirely my decision, and that’s the way it should be!

    It makes me sad to see friends and cousins conform to wearing what their in laws want. And what makes it worse is that they’ve had so much freedom in their own homes but suddenly, that freedom is curbed when they get married.

    I have a cousin who’s getting married next month. Her in laws are ultra conservative and they want her to wear sarees only. And she accepts it. Her logic, “I’m going into their house now so I have to follow their rules”. What about her choice? What about her freedom of self-expression? No one cares two-hoots about it, not even she herself! And that’s what saddens me.

    My mom is a salwar kameez fan. She hates sarees, she reserves them for formal occasions only. Earlier, she would don a saree while visiting her in laws, but today she doesn’t care. Her logic, “I wear what I want to and its no one’s business but mine.” Now that’s a logic I admire.

    When I chose modeling, fingers were raised at me in my family. Relatives would come unto my parents and say, “why don’t you stop her? What will people say? Who will marry her tomorrow?” But, my awesome parents stood up for me and said, “If that’s her career choice, we respect that. She’s a grown up girl and she can make her own choices in life. As for who will marry her, she’ll get married when she finds a person who accepts her for all that she is, who loves her for being herself”

    Like

    • Your parents are truly awesome 🙂 And I agree instead of trying to do everything to be the ideal woman of a future husband, it’s so much more practical to be your best, achieve your dreams and, maybe find him on the way, and evolve and grow with him.

      Like

      • I wasn’t really expecting a reply 🙂 I have to say, I really enjoy your blog. I’m supposed to be working on my NYU application essays at the moment, but then I stumbled upon your blog and before I knew it, its 10 pm already! Guess I’l have to deal with them tomorrow, lol.

        Anyway, I’d like to invite you to my blog as well. Its http://www.fabloid.co.in. Drop in whenever you feel like it!

        Like

      • I wasn’t really expecting a reply I have to say, I really enjoy your blog. I’m supposed to be working on my NYU application essays at the moment, but then I stumbled upon your blog and before I knew it, its 10 pm already! Guess I’l have to deal with them tomorrow, lol.

        Anyway, I’d like to invite you to my blog as well. Its http://www.fabloid.in. Drop in whenever you feel like it!

        posted it again cuz of a typo

        Like

  54. 1. Man assaults jeans-clad wife for dressing up like men
    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Man-assaults-jeans-clad-wife-for-dressing-up-like-men/opinions/4072709.cms

    2. Man beats up wife for wearing jeans
    From Rajesh Deol, DH News Service, Chandigarh:
    http://archive.deccanherald.com/Content/Feb52009/national20090204116633.asp

    “…the police, instead of booking the husband, appeared keen on ensuring a patch-up between the families. Station house officer of Dabwali police station Joginder Singh seemed satisfied when the boy’s family told him that it was a family matter and they would resolve it among themselves. He allowed the belligerent husband to go home.”

    And now,

    3. No jeans, t-shirts; new dress code for Haryana Women and Child Department
    http://ibnlive.in.com/news/no-jeans-tshirts-new-dress-code-for-haryana-women/256076-3.html

    Like

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  62. Pingback: “I am perfectly alright with being ‘unattractive’ to a majority of boys – love is not some job interview where you try tailor yourself to someone’s needs.” | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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