Here’s an email I would like to share. I know these questions worry many other Indians and are the reason why we see resistance to social changes.
Subject: Brave new Indian Family.
Recent interaction and reading on your blog made me wonder a few things. In the new world order (Hypothetical & in India) some important things that come to my mind are:
- Independence of women – should mean – men & women are treated and respected equally. No one has an edge.
- No patriarchy or matriarchy system. But does this mean nuclear family should be the order of the day without grandparents?
- Men & Women are different biologically and so certain things have to be worked out differently. Like the way we are talking about abortion.E.g. End of the the day, the physical endurance still have to be of the lady - whatever may be the decision.
- Marriage or no marriage? Don’t have an answer – but definitely present model of marriage isn’t really working well, but in want of a better system, probably continue?
What bothers me is:
1. – Grandparents i.e. old people should stay on their own?
2. – Grandparents shouldn’t have any say in their future grandsons/ daughters?
3. – Like in western society kids should move out of the house?
4. – I have even seen suggestions about young couples moving out of the house right after marriage so that husband-wife get to know each other. Fair enough. Should that be the only way? It could be that the girls’/boys’ parents still need a helping hand.
5. – Are we promoting per-marital sex yet at the same time talk of marriage and then – you should be faithful? Looks like we are just letting what westerns do – without understanding the full repercussion of it.
It means that while grandparents can stay in the house but at your terms! – While I do think the newly married couples should be allowed freedom to explore and understand each other – go out as often as they want etc. But necessarily staying away from parents isn’t the only way. I’m also surprised how some people feel grandparents involvement is with intention – to have a stake in the grand children.
Some of these things I believe happens to us, because we live with per-conceived ideas, don’t we? Aren’t there any really nice parents?
Some random lamentations :))