“Chetan Bhagat’s Marriage Tips for the CEO of Shaadi.com. Just for fun, on a lighter note Share this with your Friends and make a Woman happy!”
Why do you think are these tips (- only for men) expected to ‘make a woman happy’?
If you consider yourself a modern woman, do these tips make you happy? What about them makes you happy?
And if you are a modern man – do you find the tips ‘funny’? What is it that makes these tips ‘funny’?
Link shared by Vidya Vasudevan.
Let me attempt to understand what makes these tips ‘funny’.
Tip#1 roughly states:
1. If she asks a question, you have to figure out what she wants to hear. You better say that, you cannot say the other one… trick is to figure out… No need to apply yourself, doesn’t matter what A or B is…
What this ‘joke’ seems to mean: It’s ‘lighthearted and fun’ to see women as unreasonable and unpredictable people. Women keep husbands guessing about what they might want to hear and it’s kind of unsafe to say what women do not want to hear; but non of this is a serious concern, because women don’t need to be taken seriously.
Why is this a ‘joke’? Because in reality many ‘modern women’ are advised not to give or to have opinions? Or because Indian men are being advised to be afraid of women? (Is that ‘the’ joke because men are not afraid of anybody or anything – least of all their wives?)
Why should this make a modern woman happy? Because she is allowed (only in a joke) to not just have opinions but also force them on other people who are terrified of her? And it should make women happy to have their spouse living in fear? Who believes this? And why?
2. Do not forget anniversaries. … Her parents’ birthdays, yeah I know, I know it seems really far fetched (IHM: Guess it does seem far fetched, a wife’s parents’ birthday – but of course he is joking and that is why it is ‘just a joke’), but you need to know your in laws’ birthdays. You are the one who makes so many mistakes, if you want to be forgiven be the first one to call your mother in law on her birthday. Yeah. Just wake her up… .. that will absolve you of one month of sin.
Why is this a joke? Because generally it’s the women who are expected to take care of all the birthdays, culture-saving, custom-saving, family-name-saving, gifting, festivals and fasts in their spouse’s/boy friends’ extended family, and if they can do it without also changing the way they live, dress, eat, earn, spend and socialise, they are seen as either fortunate or tyrannical like Anoushka Sharma in this Reliance commercial – ‘Hello aunty! Happy Happy Birthday.’
Or is it funny because in an average Indian arranged marriage (dowry, caste and horoscope) jamai raja/damaad being expected to remember a spouse’s parents’ birthday is a joke?
3. When it’s a open ended question when you have to give an opinion, specially about her… it has to be only a positive opinion …she is not asking you for an opinion she is asking for endorsement. Do you understand the difference? Let me give you an example if she says ‘Is this dress nice’ well the dress is very nice, unless it belongs to another girl who is prettier than her in that case the dress is bad. But if she is wearing that dress it’s a nice dress… yes it’s nice, isn’t this awful, yes it’s awful.
Naughty men who see themselves as naughty boys, sometimes seeing themselves as the third child of wives who are ‘do bachchon ki amma‘. (Though mostly the wives are younger)
“Jokes that are anti-women and anti-wives are ad nauseum. When it is pointed out, there is a reaction – it’s only a joke. Yes, it may be a joke, but it creates an ugly atmosphere of trapped husbands, naughty men who would rather be with other women etc. It’s as if marriage is a bore and a chore. Boys learn that, instead of awareness that a fun family life with commitment to each other is the greatest joy. The detached husband and father who openly flirts and has affairs is the learned behaviour of our growing boys.” [We Let This Gen Down - Madhu Trehan]
4. She follows you on twitter. Be careful on twitter. I have been in trouble for this you know I praised some actor for looking very nice or somebody in an ad…
Is this one a joke because in real life modern Indian men can praise all the women they like and compare them to the wife too?