Panchayat orders girl to marry her rapist because one way to make a Rape right is to make it Marital Rape.

So when misogynists and rape apologists can’t claim that the rape survivor was at the wrong place at the wrong time, in the wrong clothes, eating and drinking the wrong food and beverage etc – this is how she is provided support. She is asked to marry the sexual criminal who gagged and raped her, because the easiest way to make a Rape right is to make it Marital Rape.

Link shared by Swarup.

Panchayat orders girl to marry her rapist

The girl had been alone when her neighbour’s guest entered the house, gagged and raped her.

The victim’s family then approached the police. By then the accused went to the panchayat and asked them to hush up the matter. The panchayat ordered the accused to get married to the girl. They even threatened the girl’s family if they did not follow the diktat.

The family had approached the Bulandshahr SSP Gulab Singh but failed to get any respite. Later, after the matter came into the media, the accused was arrested and an FIR lodged under Section 354 of the IPC.

And how do we deal with misogynists? By sexually assaulting their female relatives? That’s what one of the comments suggests. Is this mindset too different from the mindset of the Khaps?

The Panchayat head should be ordered to marry off his daughter or sister, instead of the assaulted girl, to the rapist

Another link shared by Swarup. How would this Panchayat deal with these rapsits?

3 minors raped, killed in Jharkhand

48 thoughts on “Panchayat orders girl to marry her rapist because one way to make a Rape right is to make it Marital Rape.

  1. I think these people’s whole, absolutely abhorrent rationale is that the girl’s virginity is some sort of ‘prize’ to be preserved. Now that the rapist has ‘taken’ it he might as well keep it. Because it is her virginal state that determines her morality and goodness, of course. Ugh.

    • this is one of the comments in tht article:

      “before blaming it on panchayat look at her current situation, he has been r@ped no one will every marry her in future ,even if it happens then she might not live a normal life .my question to all the so called modern society moderators how many among’st you guy will marry a female who has been Raped ?”

      Very very disgusting midset.. where are we heading???

  2. Women all over the world since centuries are treated as trophies,in wars and conflict zones and even in peace,especially their virginity.But what is surprising that the decision makers in cases like these do not even recognize the woman’s right to her body and her life.marry the rapist is the easiest solution to maintain status quo of patriarchy ,of maintaining the silence on crimes against women.

  3. I fail to understand this rise of barbaric attitude towards women, toddlers, and girls. Rape % should have gone down after December 2012-Delhi gang rape incident instead it is increasing rapidly. Incidents of rape are being reported every day. Even toddlers or aged women are not spared. Now, men are raping women to take revenge from someone for example, the Hyderabad case (I think I got the name of the city wrong) where Mother and daughter were gang raped because the son eloped with the accused’s daughter. From politicians to police and panchayat; everyone is trying to find an easy no-two way solution to curb rape and thus where a politician says, ‘no respectable women gets raped’, the police, ‘asks to carry red chillie powder and stay home after 7’, and the ‘panchayat orders the victim to marry her rapist.’ Aren’t this all examples of a male dominated society?

    • After December 16th rape survivors and those who support them have started coming out to report sexual assaults, I am sure all these crimes have been happening all along, but earlier the survivors were silenced with shaming, blaming and naming.

      • The country is virtually run by media ..We feel the heat only when we see it on news.There has been such incidences in past also but if you see today the news related to these incidences has increased many fold because media knows which string to pull at what time.

      • I live in the US and it is absolutely sickening the way Indians hold ‘Festivals of India’ and celebrate “Indian culture” through dance, music, and food. Yes, all those things about India are wonderful – love them myself – but nobody wants to talk about the part of our culture that punishes people for wanting basic human rights. Nobody wants to talk about the sexual abuse of children that happens within families, the physical and mental abuse that financially dependent women are put through by their husbands and in-laws, and how girls are teased and harassed simply for being girls. Any such talk is considered ‘unpatriotic’. Any such talk is greeted with “Look, there are so many problems here in America too. At least in India, we don’t get divorced over every silly thing.” Or “The media is making too much of these things.” Makes me wanna scream.

        Even the Indian magazines won’t talk about these things. They talk about how much the Indian community has achieved in terms of education and material success. What’s the point of all that if basic human rights are values are missing? There are so many stories of abuse within the Asian communities here that get suppressed for the very same reasons – honor, family pride, etc. How can we solve the problem if we refuse to admit it??

        It is great that people are finally reporting these things. People are finally saying, “Guess what, it sucks to be a woman here. Sorry to bring your imaginary perfect world crashing down, but the truth is ugly.” Give me reality any day.

        • “Look, there are so many problems here in America too. At least in India, we don’t get divorced over every silly thing.”

          I get this response so many times, I’ve lost count. It makes me want to punch the person who says it. Now I’ve just learned to walk away, because nothing you say can make these people understand and acknowledge that they’re wrong.

    • I doubt that such incidents are actually going down in number. Yes, there was outrage after the Delhi incident, and the government made a lot of noise – setting up helplines, fast-track courts etc. but has the ground reality changed? NO. Attitudes still remain the same, law enforcement is weak, there is no accountability or the fear that a perpetrator will be brought to book – so people commit (sexual) crimes with impunity.

  4. The main problem is something that everyone seems to have ignored:

    “The family had approached the Bulandshahr SSP Gulab Singh but failed to get any respite. Later, after the matter came into the media, the accused was arrested and an FIR lodged under Section 354 of the IPC.”

    I have become increasingly convinced that the sole reason for the rise is sexual crimes is the knowledge of people that the police will not do anything. It’s not the quantum of punishment, but the certainty of punishment.

    Suspension is not enough. Dismissal is not enough. We need to have a crime for dereliction of duty and police reforms. From now on, just one thing needs to be done – police reforms. Police reforms. Police reforms.

    True, the police can’t be everywhere. I don’t blame the police for not preventing the rape of the five year old girl in the news. I blame them for what they did AFTER the act. By not registering the FIR.

    Police reforms. We need just one thing and that is for the police to take their damn jobs seriously.

    • Certainty of punishment will help towards increased reporting of cases by the victims. But a certain quantum of punishment is required to develop deterrence in the minds of the culprits. And deterrence is equally important if not more so than the reporting of cases.

      • Thing is we’ve never tried it! 10 years in jail is a loooong time. I can’t believe that anyone would do something if they were pretty sure of actually getting caught. The laws are fine. The prison terms are fine.

        We just need the police to do their jobs.

        • Surety of getting caught wouldn’t lead to the reality of repeat offenders. I came across an article the other day which stated that a majority of rapists were repeat offenders. The point is, such people stop fearing the possibility of getting caught. They feel, and probably know, that they will be let off easily even if they are caught. In fact, I have personally known cases in my own city where people are pretty nonchalant about making a visit to the jail. That’s why I don’t think the laws are fine. I don’t think the prison terms are fine. At least not in case of sexual assaults. Laws and punishments need a change along with the surety of arrest of offenders.

          As for the police, we are not going to get a better police force as long as the general psyche of the society doesn’t change. After all, the police come from the same society too. Maybe we need strict laws against erring policemen instead of mere suspensions. People don’t seem to fall in line unless there is sufficient deterrence.

        • Also, the surety of getting caught would be a huge deterrent to an average middle class person who has a resume to maintain, a job to hold on to and a passport/visa to take care of. For such a person, even a few hours spent in the lock-up of the local ‘police thana’ would be a big no-no.

          But that is surely not the case for an unemployed and illiterate person for whom, time spent inside a lock-up or a jail is just a change from the daily life. Such a person who is put behind the bars multiple times in a year would hardly give a thought about the consequences of getting caught. If you think that the surety of getting caught affects such persons in any way, you are highly mistaken.

        • India actually needs more police in order for the force to be effective. I say this whenever the police issue comes up. The ratio of police to population in India is way below the UN-recommended ratio. The force is stretched thin with everything from terror to VIP security, with no time or energy or will to do the ordinary beat policing which is what prevents everyday crime. A sexual assault is the last priority of the average cop who would rather not deal with the investigation and the legwork, and the paperwork. The prevailing mentality is that these kinds of crime can be “fixed” with a good thrashing, much as one handles pickpockets in trains, and are not worth the “hassle” of allocating scarce manpower.The police force needs to be expanded (after a proper discussion of where the budget will come from), trained to handle cases of assault and made to understand that even an unwanted touch is an assault, not “eve-teasing”.

      • “Getting caught” doesn’t just refer to the FIR – though that is a big first step. It also means an improvement in the way investigations are done and in the conviction rate.

        I say the prison terms are fine because 10 years is a very long time. Death is not an option for obvious reasons and what else is left…torture?

        • Even if there is 100% conviction of real culprits, it doesn’t solve any purpose as long as the culprit is not deterred to commit the crime again. I can’t understand why you people can’t think beyond death and torture. Death must be reserved for those who kill their victims or leave them incapable to lead a physically normal life. Other than that, rigorous imprisonment or seclusion are befitting punishments.

          I’m just curious as to what punishment do you think is sufficient for the culprits of the Delhi rape if proven guilty.

      • I think the current punishment of 10 years is enough. It’s enough of a deterrent provided the rapist is reasonably afraid of getting caught and punished.

    • Absolutely agree Bhagwad. Herein lies the root of the problem. There have been cases where the women who went to report a crime got raped by the police. If I had to report a crime to the Indian cops, I wouldn’t go alone, I wouldn’t feel safe with them. We’ve managed to create a society where we can’t feel safe with people who are supposed to protect us.

    • Agree. Why is there a need to the SSP to get any kind of justice? Why is it that the inspector/sub-inspector etc. in charge do not do their job?

      “I don’t blame the police for not preventing the rape of the five year old girl in the news”

      It is not the job of the police to prevent the rape, but it is the job of the justice system (police/courts/law makers and enforcers) to instill the “fear of retribution” that will prevent such rapes.

      • It is not the job of the police to prevent the rape, but it is the job of the justice system (police/courts/law makers and enforcers) to instill the “fear of retribution” that will prevent such rapes.

        Exactly! The police cannot be present at the scene of every crime, BUT< they can make sure their response time is quick, and the investigation that follows is respectful of the survivor and ensures that justice can be done. That is the only way they can play their part in deterring both the accused in that case as well as other potential offenders.

  5. They are treating the woman as damaged goods. Buy what you broke. I feel so bad for the poor girl. Being forced to marry a man who terrorised her. Do these people have no humanity left? Does the girl have no say in her own life? How can she live her life with a criminal? These people are worse than rapist.

    • Agree with you. And further, the crime in question is only that the rapist “broke” or “took” the virginity of the victim. Once he marries her, what happens afterwards is just “miyan biwi ka mamla” If a man wants to beat his wife, what difference does it make? And of course, forcible sex with his wife is not rape at all. Problem solved!

      Actually, what’s sad for me is that I think these Panchayat’s believe what they are doing is right for the victim. In other words, they only think the woman needs her honour to be restored. It’s again the fact that rape is perceived as a sexual crime rather than an act of violence. It’s again the fact that a woman should not have a sexual identity but rather, it belongs to the man she will marry. That, to me, is the sad part.

      • I think another part of this “remedy” is that they think that her virginity is is the only thing she has “lost” – it doesn’t consider the fact that (like you said) that a violent offence has occurred and that the survivor will face other implications than just the fact that “her marriage prospects will be lowered”.

  6. Why are these panchayat diktats not against the law?? Who are they to order someone to marry against her wish (even if the guy wasn’t her rapist)? I suppose that would still not help if the police refuse to do their jobs!

    Thinking that a rape can be ‘fixed’ by marriage is bizarre, irrational and only makes sense if you consider the woman as a sealed product, a commodity for sale, not a human being. It’s like someone murders me and the society offers to fix this by giving the murderer my house! That wouldn’t make sense, would it? Neither does this.

  7. This is so absurd and defies logic. I wonder how those bloody Panchayats has so much power and arresting the rapists is not enough and those Panchayats members should be brought behind bars. I wonder in what kind of inhumane society we are living!

  8. I remember seeing a ton of Tamil and Hindi movies growing up, where they’d portray the girl begging for the marriage after rape. And the panchayat head as being the benevolent, wise head of the village who did what was best for the girl. I think this thing is epidemic. I don’t know why I’m so certain about this in my head, but I’m sure that if we were to walk around the country taking a poll of both women and men who thought this was best .. they’d prove that the panchayat did the right thing. It’s not just our panchayat. It’s our people, our movies, our legal system, our political system. We need visionaries, brave thinkers in each of these fields to question this. We need parodies, documentaries, entire magazines and news channels dedicated to the downfall of patriarchy. Erasing 100s of years of crappy traditions from all our minds is such an overwhelming daunting task.

    • Here’s a clipping from a Tamil movie that parodied those famous movies with mandatory Panchayat scenes :) Among other things, we need more movies like this. Humorous while being a satire on our society:

      ‘Minor’ Kunjumani rapes a woman. The Panchayat says to either marry the woman or pay the Panchayat board Rs. 2000/- . The woman totally refuses to marry him. Minor Kunju says he knew this would happen and had pre-paid the amount on the last Panchayat meeting. Watch to find out what happens next.

      Also includes a comedy involving the Panchayat’s decision to kill a girl baby.

  9. But there is no connection between the two :/

    Rape is a crime, based on hate.
    Marriage is a relationship, based on love.

    Its something like telling someone who robbed your house to share his future finances with you, for all times to come. Absurd? Very.

  10. Um, that’s just horrific. Way to victimize the abused again. Well, they need to stop linking rape with loss of women’s honour/dignity. A woman is victimized when she is raped but she doesn’t lose honour or anything. The rapist should be blamed and jailed for his crimes. Do these men lack common sense? Oh wait, they are misogynists. Seriously, this medieval thinking needs to be change. Also, please abolish these Khap panchayats.

  11. Politically speaking, I wonder if Rahul Gandhi and Arvind Kejriwal really believe in ‘Panchayati Raj’ or “Swaraj”? Or is it just posturing in order to gain votes? I have heard them go on record to say that self-governance is a worthy idea. I’m not so sure- it seems like existing biases in society will turn into ‘law’ if left to people.
    What is needed is a strong police and judiciary. When that happens, society will be forced to change. Or at least hide their more primitive ways of thinking.

    • A strong well trained police is definitely a must, as is an efficient judiciary. Equally crucial is education for an uneducated polity will forever remain prey to populist promises. And populism caters to the status quo.

      Talking of self-rule is easy…but unless the observable focus is on literacy [and here I'd include political literacy as well], then the words are hollow.

      Also, something the political class never clarifies when they talk of self-rule: the only thing that can take place at the local level is the administrative part of it. The fundamental rights of the Indian citizens are not even open to amendment after the Keshavananda Bharati case. And any law, no matter how popular, that abrogates these basic rights will be struck down when challenged in the court of law.

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