How many parents in India will do this instead of hushing it up if the case didn’t come into the lime light?

Sharing an email from Cracking Saks.

“Hi IHM,

I just wanted to share this link with you about ‘Rape Case Unfolds on Web: Steubenville, Ohio‘  & I cried when I read how the parents took all the effort to collect the evidences and took it to the police to file a case as the girl didn’t even know she was raped and the parents heard it from a neighbour who saw the photo of the girl online. I wondered how many parents in India will do this instead of hushing it up if the case didn’t come into the lime light?

Look what her mother says,

“How would you like to go through that as a mother, seeing your daughter, who is your entire world, treated like that?” the mother said. “It was devastating for all of us.”

The details of the Delhi rape case are so disturbing that I am so scared to sleep. I can’t imagine how someone can be so brutal?”

Can you imagine this happening in India? Didn’t this Indian teenager’s parents feel the same outrage? [Raped by 42 men in 40 days. Supreme Court to hear case after eight-year gap]

“The unspeakable truth is that the young woman attacked on Dec. 16 was more fortunate than many rape victims. She was among the very few to receive anything close to justice. She was hospitalized, her statement was recorded and within days all six of the suspected rapists were caught and, now, charged with murder. Such efficiency is unheard-of in India.” [Read more:The Unspeakable Truth About Rape in India By Sonia Faleiro]

And how many Indian sexual assault victims would even dream of reacting the way this teenager did?

Thanks for ruining my life. 

The boys came over that evening and the group began drinking—beer, vodka, whiskey—purchased by an older friend, according to court documents. After downing a number of shots, Dietrich says, she passed out. The next morning she woke up in bed with an ominous feeling. “My bra was shifted,” she says. “My underwear were off.” She wondered if something bad had happened, but pushed the thought away. “It was like part of me didn’t want to know,” she says.

Dietrich didn’t learn about the photos until months later, in late November, when a guy friend told her there were rumors that the boys had taken seminude shots of her. Unsure of precisely what the photos showed or who had seen them, she confronted the boys on Nov. 28. ‘

Can you imagine an Indian teenager reacting like Dietrich did? What’s the difference? The only way to make sure that some day in future, an Indian teenager is able to react with the same confidence and outrage, is to understand this.

Related Posts:

If she was born somewhere else.

“A protected generation of women like my grand mother’s did NOT seek equal rights.”

“The rape victim had gone there willingly. She was not lured into it. They drank vodka.”

15 thoughts on “How many parents in India will do this instead of hushing it up if the case didn’t come into the lime light?

  1. Perhaps many parents in our country would ask their daughter to forget it as its underwraps… Because of a society & a mindset thinks that a raped female means she lost not just her ‘Izzat’ but also brought shame to their family… Pretty much unfortunate state of affairs…

    If anything that needs to change most immediately is the way society thinks about rape victims. Cannot believe how it can be so difficult for people to understand that someone forced !!! She Didn’t ask for it !!! In an unfortunate event if a rape were to happen, we could do with faster, stricter judicial process to punish the criminals. The victim should be able to live her life normally thereafter. Alas… perhaps our society thinks its too much to ask… :(

    The whole stigma is nothing but a reflection of us as a society… I hope the mindset changes…

  2. It reminds of me of this

    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2010-10-07/mumbai/28268417_1_vinamra-soni-tiss-kundan-raj-borgohain

    The girl was an American student and the accused were students as well. Apparently there was lot of support for the accused, testimonies from friends that all the guys are good guys who could have no way raped/molested anybody, and that they were at the wrong place at wrong time. At the same eye brows were raised at American girl’s character.

    • I cringed after reading that the parents touched their respective lawyers feet and shed tears in gratitude. Ughhhh. My heart goes out to the girl.

      • Me too Madhu. Why didn’t the same parents and friends asked these so called good boys what right do they have to take a girl to their friend’s house when she kept insisting she wanted to go elsewhere. It was not them who were at wrong place at wrong time but the poor girl.

  3. I can’t imagine most Indian parents or teens reacting like Dietrich, mostly because doing so would expose them to social consequences that just don’t have an equivalent in the West for the most part.

    As bad as her own trauma undoubtedly is, she’s unlikely to be kicked out of schools, fired from workplaces, further harassed and molested by cops who feel she has nothing left to lose anyway, stigmatized by ‘friends’, and be called a living corpse in an offhand, matter-of-fact way. All of those things have happened to people who have gone public with their stories in India. What parents wants them to happen to their child? The investigation process itself is archaic and humiliating enough that a large number of victims refuse to even try and get the rapist prosecuted. I hardly blame people for not wanting to go through fresh humiliation and stigmatization right after an event as psychologically damaging as rape.

    There’s a lot of change required.

    • While I agree with most of what you’ve said, from what little I know about the case, she WAS stigmatized by ‘friends’ (I wouldn’t call them that) who posted on social media sites and spread rumours, and by cops (there were claims the police did not do all that they could have done), and a large part of the community worked to minimize or even hide the case. So I wouldn’t necessarily say that she didn’t face any negative social consequences. But, she did have a very supportive set of parents (or at least mother, I believe), who stood by her, which I think would not be true in most cases in India.

      • Well, there is a substantial difference between people who acknowledge what you went through and then outcast you as ‘damaged goods’ (which is what typically happens to victims in India) , and people who deny that anything happened at all, or seek to minimize it.

        The latter is bad enough, but it is not stigmatization. It happens in India too (remember Ruchika Girhotra?), but the real torment begins once that phase has passed, and former friends and acquaintances, and workplaces and institutions, start refusing to be associated with you, simply because you were the victim of a crime.

        The community tried to hide the case because they realized that people would condemn what happened.
        In India, the victim is often the one who is the most interested in suppressing the facts. Rapists often threaten victims that to reveal a video or other evidence of a rape if she dared to tell anyone about it. The social sanction is directed more towards the victim than the perpetrator.

        America is no utopia, and I’m sure American rape victims face their own barriers towards legal remedy. I’ve seen at least the Canadian system at close hand, and I understand that there are issues there too. But in all the history of the world, the most powerful barriers have never been legal ones, but social ones. The social barriers that an Indian victim must face are truly breathtaking. Most Westerners will never have to go through a fraction of that stuff, and can go back to a more or less ordinary existence with relative ease, once any lingering psychological issues are sorted out. At least, there are few social institutional barriers to it.
        That is simply not the case in India, and victims (and victims’ well-wishers) find that out very quickly indeed.

  4. Not many, I would say. They would be too busy trying to yell/hit/threaten the daughter for being a “kalank” on the family, probably. And if the daughter reacted like Dietrich? I dread to think what would happen to her.

  5. I can just imagine how it would be if this had happpened in India…”What was she doing hanging out with boys?” “Why was she drinking?” “What was she doing partying like that?” “What was she doing out so late at night?””Such a immoral girl, she probably deserves it”….It would be like a rape all over again for the poor girl, if she had been indian and had her parents dared to file a case!! pathetic state of affairs :(

  6. about 50% of indian parents i think would do this if left to themselves. in that 50% less than 5% will have the courage to stand up to society and subject their daughter to hardships , insults and tamasha that society and everyones dog will heap on her.

    Sadly this is the state of affairs, i hope this percentage will slowly improve as people with such mindset ( accusing the girl) either grow old and die or change and the younger generations is educated correctly.

  7. Pingback: How do you think would the ‘social order’ be impacted with this kind of parenting? | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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