Father wants the world to know her real name.

I do think this is historical. For the first time in Indian history we are looking at a rape victim’s father saying,

“We want the world to know her real name.

“My daughter didn’t do anything wrong, she died while protecting herself.

“I am proud of her. Revealing her name will give courage to other women who have survived these attacks. They will find strength from my daughter.” [Brave dad Badri, 53, told The Sunday People : http://www.mirror.co.uk/all-about/the%20]

India gang rape victim’s father: I want the world to know my daughter’s name.

And he is not ashamed to be her father.

If there ever was an opportunity or a real hope to change the way Indian culture and society looks at sexual assaults, I think, it is now.

If there ever was a time to take ‘shame’ away from sexual assaults, this is that time.

Updated to add. Found this link:

The newspapers and media are covering, for the first time, what a violent crime does to the victim (or survivor) and their family. For the first time a rape victim and her family is being shown as real people with feelings, lives, aspirations… as one of us.

“Recalling the night of horror, Badri said: “When I first saw her she was in the bed with her eyes closed. I put my hand on her forehead and called her name. She slowly opened her eyes and started crying and said she was in pain. I held my tears. I told her not to worry, have strength and everything will be all right.”

“She cried a lot, she was in a lot of pain. And as soon as she saw her mother and brothers she cried again. But was a courageous girl, even trying to console us and give us hope that everything will be all right,” said Badri in the rare interview.” [Want world to know his daughter  was Delhi braveheart: Father]

33 thoughts on “Father wants the world to know her real name.

  1. Seriously in an ideal world it should never matter…. He is absolutely right, her daughter was at no fault at all… why should she hide anything…

    hugssssss to this brave brave father..

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  2. I heard it from my wife, and I think she actually shed a tear or two.

    I… really can’t come up with anything coherent right now. Despite all the muck and all the dreariness of existence, I say it’s a wonderful old world after all. Here’s to Jyoti and here’s to the folks who raised her.

    So bloody stoked to share this planet with you guys. I am.

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  3. Badri said Jyoti’s friend Awindra was not her boyfriend – just a very brave friend who tried to save her.

    He said: “There was no question of her marrying because we belong to different castes.

    Okay I know this is off-topic, but reading that last line was very depressing!

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    • Depressing indeed.

      I wonder if (hope that) Jyoti and Awindra did not subscribe to that view, even if they were merely friends and had no intention of having a relationship or getting married.

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    • The article was heart warming and sad in a way but that line hit out to me too. Why insist that they belong to different castes? That he was not her boyfriend? I think that is to stop people from gossiping. But then their surnames are the same.

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  4. Can’t hold back my tears after reading just what you’ve written. It will be some time before I can read more of what the father said. Meira Kumar said that when she met the parent she was struck by their courage and resolve. What an example for us all.

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  5. I have been mostly silent as I have read the reports about this, and observed the aftermath from a land so far away. At many times I have not been able to read the full reports because I am so overcome with rage. But when I saw this piece today, for the first time, I allowed myself to cry.

    The only good thing that can come from this horror is the courage to have real discussions, and create real changes.

    Rest in inspiration and peace, Jyoti.

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  6. Brilliant. There’s so much stigma against rape victims, particularly in Asia and Africa, and for the father of a rape victim to come out and show solidarity for not only his late daughter, but for the community of sexual abuse and rape victims is heart-warming and heart-breaking at the same time. Definitely bittersweet, but I would be proud to have a man like that as my father.

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  7. I wonder why the father says that the boy is from different community. Their surname is the same!

    I read this article in the afternoon. Her brothers will take a long time to come out of the shock more than her parents! They seem to be a close-knit family.

    I saw the interview of the boy in Z news. Felt very sorry for him. This incident will haunt him always.

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  8. Such a brave parent and what an absolute nightmare for a parent — pain , suffering and death of a child. What a miserable world we live in to cause this much anguish to another human being.

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  9. And now the father is saying that he never wanted the name to be revealed. If you read the earlier report, it doesn’t look as if the newspaper twisted things. Somehow I feel that he is under pressure to revert his earlier statement.

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  10. IHM, you are bang on about this… our society needs to let rape survivors live normal lives, they should not be compelled to feel “shame” for what has happened to them. Rape is a heinous crime, not a matter of honour.

    By compelling rape survivors to hide behind silhouettes, India is making a HUGE mistake – we are validating that being raped implies ‘loss of honour’, and fulfilling the rapists objective of looting ‘izzat’.

    I have written a post on the same thing, exactly… you can read it here… http://e-pinion.blogspot.in/2012/12/stop-linking-sex-to-honour_31.html

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  11. I fear for this movement, lest it not go the way of India Against Corruption.

    This should not end until we have a new Law in honour of Jyoti which makes Rape punishable by Life imprisonment (without the possibility of parole).

    Death Sentence would be too easy on them. Such rabid men need all of the rest of their life behind bars to contemplate on their misdeeds.

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    • Death Sentence would be too easy on them

      I am bothered by bromides of this sort.

      A death sentence isn’t ‘easy’ on anyone, least of all the one being given the sentence. There’s no greater act of moral depravity than deliberately, coldly taking the life of another human being, and if we are going to sanction it as a society, we’d better have a very good reason for it.

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      • A swift death is far more easy to digest than to see an individual struggle to hold on to life. The urge to live is pathological. But to inflict pain is much more inhuman than to take a life in a humane manner.

        Why do you think many terminally ill people sometimes ask for Euthanasia? And do you believe a swift execution is more depraved as against sexually assaulting someone against their will with an iron rod? Pathetic!

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        • A swift death is far more easy to digest than to see an individual struggle to hold on to life.

          Perhaps to you. Not to the person being killed.

          People on death row aren’t ‘struggling to hold on to life’. Get over yourself for once. We aren’t doing criminals any favors by executing them. It is nothing but a way to satisfy society’s base desire for revenge.

          There’s no such thing as taking someone’s life against their will in a ‘humane’ manner, just as there’s no such thing as humane torture or humane assault.

          Euthanasia is not the same as an execution, I can’t imagine why you’d think there is any moral equivalence there. Euthanasia involves medically inducing the death of terminally ill people who either specifically ASK for it, or are deemed too ill to have any meaningful opinion on the matter. The people from whom we self-congratulatorily take that which we cannot give, do NOT ask for it and are fully alert to their fate.

          And do you believe a swift execution is more depraved as against sexually assaulting someone against their will with an iron rod?

          A ‘swift execution’ is still an execution. If the state did not perform it, it would be called murder. It is not called murder only because of a legal technicality, which essentially grants that a murder sanctioned by the state isn’t to be called a murder, but an execution. There is no difference in the acts themselves, apart from their abstract legality.

          Yes, I do believe that murder is more depraved than any form of bodily assault, sexual or otherwise (and the laws of pretty much every jurisdiction in the world, including India, agree with me).

          The victim, even in this case, wanted to live. She specifically said so, just as so many rape victims do.
          Are you suggesting it would have been more humane if the rapists had ‘swifly’ killed her, instead of doing what they did? I don’t think she would have agreed with you there.

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  12. She died not in an effort to save her but she started the fight to save the boy who was with her . She was warrior and she was raped because of being a warrior and fighter . The rapist had to “teach her a lesson ” as they have themself said because she was very furious and fiery . She bit them with her teeth to stop them hitting her friend .
    She should be remembered because she was brave and not because she was gang raped . She did nothing to protect her on the contrary she fought to protect her friend .

    The society { me included } is crying loud and hoarse because she was gang raped brutally on the contrary i feel they should talk about her bravery , her courage to fight 6 man single handed as her friend had fainted when hit by a rod

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  13. The day she died I cried a lot. The whole day passed in daze wondering about her poor parents. Reading this I feel there is some hope. Atleast she is not being blamed for what happened to her. Atleast her parents don’t feel she brought shame to them and the family. The comment about her not marrying her friend aside my heart goes out to her family for being so strong.

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    • That guy is mentally sick. I mean like extremely sick. I had once landed on his blog and knew straightaway he needs treatment. And it is so depressing to see many people who call themselves his fan. I can only suggest everyone to keep away from that blog if they want to maintain sanity of their minds.

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    • Ahem what was the point of his article. I got lost in his drivel and pointlessly long article, I could not even bear to read it.

      Who has patience to go through his blog?

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  14. @Praveen: These rapists will never be reformed. What they did was extremely heinous. Should they be released after some years they would be a great threat to society.Even if they remained in prison for life, it would not bring justice to the victim who told her mother she wanted them to be burned alive for what they did to her. Even the juvenile should be hanged, as he was the cruelest of them all. They were prosecuted for murder, intended murder, rape, unnatural acts, and a lot of other things. Can you imagine if you were in her place or maybe someone close to you? They should first be castrated and then hanged to set an example for anyone who would want to follow their example. This is a must in a country with such a high rate of gang rapes, where rapists roam free and victims must remain silent to protect their “honour”. I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of a life Indian women live under these circumstances. I am a person with great respect for all kinds of life, but this kind of people should be exterminated, as they have shown that they have absolutely no respect toward their fellow humans.

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    • Even if they remained in prison for life, it would not bring justice to the victim who told her mother she wanted them to be burned alive for what they did to her.

      ‘Justice’ is not about inflicting punishments equivalent to the crime.

      The main goal of the judicial system is not to punish people in new and barbaric ways, but rather to make society safer by creating adequate deterrence.

      Can you imagine if you were in her place or maybe someone close to you?

      I cannot imagine it, but I am sure it would be (to put it mildly) an extremely traumatic experience. All rationality would probably fly out of the window. And this is precisely why I should not, in that scenario, be allowed to decide the quantum of punishment.

      Punishments must be inflicted by the state ONLY to create deterrence, not for the emotional satisfaction of the victim, the victim’s family/friends, or any third parties.

      This is a must in a country with such a high rate of gang rapes, where rapists roam free and victims must remain silent to protect their “honour”

      I disagree that glorifying state-sponsored violence as a quick and dirty solution to complex social problems does ANYTHING to help, in any possible way.

      I am a person with great respect for all kinds of life, but this kind of people should be exterminated, as they have shown that they have absolutely no respect toward their fellow humans.

      Once again, I disagree, because to ‘exterminate’ them does not help anyone at all. The only purpose of such an act would be to satisfy the base human thirst for revenge; an emotion that has no place in a modern justice system.

      Better enforcement of laws would be far more effective in demonstrating our great respect for all kinds of life, and would do a much greater justice to people who might otherwise be victimized in the same manner.

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