Born: 19th Jan 1991.
Died: 11th Aug 2010.
A LETTER TO THE FUTURE..
LAST POST WRITTEN ON 29TH JULY, was after this one.
It’s difficult for me to talk about it now. All I would say is we have decided it would help tremendously to channelize our grief in some positive direction. A relative hugged me during her funeral and said, “Now this grief will go with you to your grave. Till the last moment of your life, till your last breath, this baby you gave birth to and loved is going to make you cry.” And suddenly something snapped. My daughter was an easy child to raise. My dearest friend and my closest ally, a confidante, a companion, we talked endlessly, we shopped, we read, we laughed at the same things and I never had to face any of the parenting problems one hears about. I feel I was extremely fortunate to have her with me for the best nineteen and a half years of my life. The thought of crying and not smiling fondly whenever I thought of her – a girl who never made anybody cry… I knew I did not want that.
We have all decided to talk about her without bitterness. One of her closest friends visited me and helped reactivate her Facebook account. (I had persuaded Tejaswee to deactivate it last month because I felt she was spending too much time on facebook). We have decided to understand that everybody has to go someday, she left earlier than we would have liked. We have decided to see which of her causes we can support. One of the thoughts is to start a scholarship in her name, maybe a fund. I would appreciate suggestions for this. And also any suggestions that help us stay positive.